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1月30日 ~573~ WednesdayWell late Monday night/early Tuesday morning we had a TON of snow dumped on us adding to the bunch from Sundays little storm......Can you say SNOWED IN? Yup I'm snowed in AGAIN!
The snow wouldn't be a problem if PEOPLE WOULD JUST SHOVEL THIER WALKWAYS!
So because of the amount of snow and low temps it looks like I'm going to be house bound for about 2 weeks......This ain't gonna be pretty folks! If I could I would get out there and shovel myself.....Then again the city should get a clue and realise that we are getting more snow than we have in the past and put more money in the snow removal fund. On a much nicer note...... I received a new bed, not just a hand me down from one of my brothers, nope a Brand Spanking New one! It is SO nice! You see I am on a disability pension and my review was last week, normally I just do the review and that's it, I don't like to ask for extras for one because they are really good at saying "no" so there's really no point and for two, I just don't like asking for more then I need, I feel that every extra I ask for is taking from someone else in more need then I am.... Anyway and the end of the review I was asked if I had any questions or needs, normally I would have said no but this time I said I was in need of a new bed and they said YES! I almost broke down in tears I tell ya! Because I think the biggest problem with my hip was my bed. Well I got the new one yesterday and slept on it last night.......I can't tell you how nice it is to wake up and NOT be in pain, this morning my hip doesn't feel like it's going to break with the next step I take, and if this keeps up I can see a change for the better in my mood despite being snowed in.....LOL! 1月28日 ~572~ PRIMAL SCREAM! AAAARRRRGGG!Just so you know......
I know I'm a wimp and a whiner.
But I HATE snow, I can't stand it!
I'm STUCK in my house I had to get a neighbour get my mail for me, (yes I know it was Sunday, I haven't checked it in a week.)
Because when I tried to do it I fell.....Did anyone help me up?.......mmmmm nope.
OK this does not upset me in the least because there really wasn't anyone out there and the few that were, were to far away to get to me before I got myself up, what does upset me about this is that the woman I work for did see me, (she was standing by her door having a smoke, and then made a point of calling me AFTER I went in my house and told me so and sort of made a joke of it.
I told her that there was no way I could take her son to or from school tomorrow or the next few days, then I hung up on her.......
As of right now I'm not sure if I have a job......Not good money wise..... But what EVER!
Oh and BTW ........
I don't like this dog......nope not at all! she is very cute but she is a BRAT!
She has learned to trip me almost every time I try to walk her on the leash.....But I' m not going to give up!
She will learn I'm the Top Bitch in this house DANMIT! 1月26日 ~572~ It's SaturdayAnd for about 3 or 4 hours I was convinced it was Sunday.......Sometimes I am such a DOLT!
It has been a GRRRR BLARG! kind of week, Tessa and I have been snipping and snapping at each other, it has gotten so bad that I thought it best for to go to her Grandmother's for a couple of days.....
I really don't have a lot to say but I thought I should write something.
I do have a blog idea that I'm working on I'm hoping to have some time to write it out tomorrow, since I don't have ANY kids not even my own, it's been a VERY long time since I have had a whole to myself......might just be the battery re-charge I need.
Enjoy what's left of your weekend
(((Hugs))) 1月22日 ~571~Hi folks!
I'm here and sort of together.....
Sunday night the family got together for Tessa's Big Birthday Dinner, I have said before her birthday is on the 5th and we usually have a small celebration on the day and then have a blow out later in the month and Sunday was the night.
We went to The keg Steak House.
It was really good and we had a lot of fun every person that was invited showed up, well all but one and that one would be Rick.....MAN! I was mad, still am even through he had a good reason.
He went skiing earlier in the day and on the way home the truck's transmission conked out and he didn't get back until late.......I really want to believe him but I don't, not a 100% percent anyway because it happens all the time I invite him to a family function and in all the years we've known each other he's only made it to 3 or 4 of them other than that it's always something. I hate it and it hurts me, this time was worse because it hurt Tessa too.
Even though my family has been really good with me lately, when it became obvious that he wasn't coming they took the opportunity to make a few jokes at my expense.
I let them have thier fun for a bit because I know if I say anything it will just get worse, at one point I looked at my brother ready to tell him to stop but before I could say anything he said " And that look on your face is why I don't like him...... I said "And your jokes help, how?"
Luckily Tessa was too busy having fun at the other end of the table to notice the exchange.
I let it go after that and got on with having a good time.
We got loud and a little rauchy, at one point there was a complaint from a table of woman in thier late 30s-40s but we sent my 30 year old (so good looking it hurts.) nephew over with round of drinks and all was good...LOL! 1月19日 ~570~OUCH. OUCH, OUCH......GODDAMNIT! OUCH!
How would someone like to take thier frustrations out by taking a baseball bat to my hip? It couldn't hurt anymore then it already does, and bonus if it's broken the Doctor's will HAVE to do something to fix it and not say "Oh your not bad enough yet, there's nothing we can do for you."
Yeah I'm just suposed to sit here in pain popping pills that no longer work......Makes ALLL the sense in the world to me.....<insert every swear word I know here>
Happy Saturday all! 1月18日 ~569~ BREATH!Is it just me or what?
I'm still feeling like I have "HSS" (Holiday Stress Syndrome).
Everything Tessa says to me sounds sarcastic and snotty, and can make my head do a 360 while I spit pea soup.
Mind you I'm not taking anything said to me very well lately......The other day the oldest boy I look after says to me, " Cindy you always make us such good dinners, I like that." I said "That's good, I'm glad." BUT what I was thinking was, "What a suck up! is it time for you to go home yet?"
I don't want to be all pissy and touchy like this but I don't know how to stop it.
Well I think I can hold out until April.......
CALIFORNIA HERE I COME!
I think maybe the road trip will decompress me. 1月16日 ~568~ MELT DOWNhave been feeling it coming for a while now.......
I thought if I just kept going, got enough rest and remembered to BREATH every once and a while it would pass.....It didn't.
Tonight everything just HIT the fan, when Tessa's puppy bit her and took a good chunk out of her finger, I LOST it. I mean crying, shaking, yelling and ready to just crawl into a corner and die.
I should have guessed that I didn't have a handle on it when I couldn't control the screaming banshee that takes over when I have too much going on, funny thing is I didn't think I had too much on my plate.....Hmmmm, I was wrong!
This puppy is a lot of work, I knew that when I agreed to have her, but man! This thing is going to give me a heart attack!
She doesn't leash very well and I thought OK it's going to take a little time but she'll learn, that was until she wiggled out of her collar and got a way from me on a busy street and wouldn't come back, so for 2 days I have been having panic attacks every time we take her out, things were actually getting a little better today, and I was also able to get her a proper harness and that helped too until she figured out how to get out of THAT too.
I can't just let her out in my back yard the spaces in my fence are too wide and she can fit right through them and I'm not allowed to put anything up to block it.
So I guess we just have to tighten up that harness a little more and have a little more patients and I have to find a place to walk her where there isn't so many other dogs.......
A big part of tonight's doggy drama had to do with my friend April coming over, she is the one that gave Ami to us and I think it was too soon for her to come for a visit because when April left that was when she (the dog) got aggressive with Tessa and bit her.
Then I had a fight with Tessa about not paying attention when the pet shop clerk showed her how to put on the harness AND then I had words with April after she yelled at Tessa on the phone and made her cry.
You see Tessa called her to tell her Ami had bitten her and that she (Tessa) thought it might be best if April came back and got her (the dog) because she was worried about the dog biting me (Because I take blood thinners).
Anyway I got that all straightened out and made them apologise to each other. April because she shouldn't have yelled at Tessa, and I made Tessa apologise because she shouldn't have hung up on April. (although I can't say I really blame her for doing so.) I also told April that if the dog bits Tessa again (or me for that matter) that she is to come and get the dog right away.
I. Will. NOT. Have an animal that bites.
I have small kids in my house all the time so I can't allow it end of story. April said she understood that and agreed.
I do believe though, my melt down and Tessa's mini melt down helped up both.......My shoulders don't feel like they are up around my ears anymore and I feel like I can actually take a deep breath, I haven't felt like that in MONTHS and Tessa is sleeping soundly she hasn't done that in a while either.
Funny how I didn't realise how tightly I was wound until it broke 1月12日 ~567~ SaturdayI didn't end up with a howler, I got a flood of tears......The reason she wanted to come home was not because her side hurt....well it did but there was a good reason for it and if she had just told me the truth I WOULD have let her come home, she found out yesterday a very good friend of her's from elementary school committed suicide a week ago.....She hadn't seen him in about a year but they had kept in touch through the computer but even that had started to wane in the last little while, then yesterday she was told at school what had happened.
She has shut down, I'm going to give her a few days and then I am going to make an appointment with the counselor for her....I really don't know what else to do......
On a lighter note.....
she finally got her puppy, Ami is now 9 months old a bit bigger then before but not that much......
It's only been one day....and now I remember WHY I never wanted a dog, don't get me wrong she is very sweet and actually a very good dog BUT......
Well I'll just leave it at that, I know it's going to take some time to get used to having her.
I have to go now and take her for a walk, yup you read that correctly it is Tessa's dog but I have to walk her.......What. Ever. 1月11日 ~566~ Getting ready for a HOWLERI have just taken ALL of Tessa's electronics and they are gone until further notice.....Hopefully that will teach her to try and manipulate me, I'm tired of it and it needs to stop today's call from school was the last straw!
She called saying that her side hurt, well we now know that it is an anxiety thing and that if she just lets herself relax and lets go of the worry the pain will lessen and most of the time go away, sometimes that doesn't work and she needs to leave school I understand that but.....
Today was such an OVIOUSE manipulation I got pissed off.
The tone in her voice was horrid, she was using one of her friends cell phones and you could hear the "Watch how easily I can pull the wool over my Mom's eyes." in her tone. ARRRRRGGGGG!
So when she gets home and finds that all her stuff is gone and she won't be allowed on the computer, I expect the windows to rattle and the walls to shake but I will hold firm.
1月10日 ~565~ ThrusdayFor the last few day I have tried to...
But I've had zero energy to do any of it...... I think I have the flu, but not the one that hits you and makes you feel like hell for a few days or so, nope I have the one that likes to play cat and mouse with you. You THINK you are getting better and have a little energy, so you try and make some order out of the chaos that is your home but then, it catches you in the middle of vacuuming and you have to go lay down for 2 hours.....For the last 3 days it is all I can do to go get the boys from school and make thier dinner and the easiest thing I can find at the time, it's been Mac and cheese, ravioli and chicken noodle soup (in the pouches) all I can say is salad in a bag has become my new best friend, at least if they eat some salad I don't feel too guilty. The weather man got SO busted last night....It was very funny, he was giving his report going on and on about how much rain was coming down. all the while everyone in the Lower main land were looking out thier windows at a SNOW storm!.... Going "What the hell you talking about Wayne?" The News room was flooded with emails, and corrections were made after the break, even the ancor woman couldn't keep a straight face...LOL!
1月6日 ~564~ SundayTessa's birthday went well, we went out for brunch, my brother told Tessa as soon as she is ready he will pay for her driving test as well as teach her to drive his PT cruiser............HOLY CRAP! my kid is old enough to drive!!!!!.........*whimper* I'm afraid........very afraid...........
Not that I don't think she will be a good driver, it's just that.........I want my cookie stomping giggling baby back!....WHAAAAA!
Darn kids! They just have to go and grow up on you now don't they?
OK, now that I have that out of my system I feel a little better....LOL!
The kids finally go back to school tomorrow...YAY!
I hope everyone has a WONDERFUL week.
(((Hugs))) 1月5日 Sweet 16!!!!! HAPPY SWEET 16TESSA JEAN!
 My girl is 16 today, I can hardly believe it!
The years have FLOWN by. |
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