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    11月29日

    ~552~ Thrusday

    It funny, and just a little sad.......
    JUST how much my life becomes all about the weather this time of year......LOL!...ha ha......ummm yeah it's sad.
    The first thing I do when I wake up I check the weather channel and it's the last thing I do at night.......
    When we got our first snow fall, I got so many phone calls....Only one or two to find out if I needed to go out and get anything, the rest were to find out just how pissed off I was because everyone around me KNOWS I HATE the evil white stuff.
    The only person I got really mad at for teasing me was Rick(off and on "other half").....Because he just doesn't GET it.
    He doesn't seem to understand that the smallest amount of snow makes my home a cage because that small amount melts and turns into ice and I can't walk in that, I can't take the chance of falling and breaking something, it's just too dangerous for me.
    Him and I got into it last night, he was teasing me because I was writing out a list of things that HAD to be done and who could take me if it was slippery and which things I could afford to take a cab to if needed, and what things I needed to stock up on just in case I got house bound like I did last year.
    Anyway he started in on me and I all but lost it.
    I told him this is what I HAVE to do to make my life somewhat normal  and it wasn't a laughing matter....
    It's all well and good to make jokes and laugh about how much I hate the snow, I don't mind that as long as you understand that there is a very real reson behind it and that there are things that need to be done for me to get through it and, that the biggest part of what really bothers me is that I HAVE to ask for help, and I have to accept that I can't do things on my own........That is so hard for me.....I can't even put it into words how hard that is.
    Then he says "Well why can't you just go get a good pair of boots, be careful and just give it a try....."
    OMG! I WISH it was that simple!
    I should take him shoe shopping with me THEN he might understand....LOL!
    Well I took a deep breath and told him to just drop it.....
    It's strange how sometimes the people around me baby me when I don't want or need them to, then other times they don't understand why I can't do something that I used to be able to do on my own.......*sigh*
    By the end of the conversation I was so fed up that I just looked at him and said , "Just accept that Winter is hard on me, and leave it at that."
    He actually said something I thought I'd never hear him say.....
    "I guess I make jokes because it scares me to watch you get worse year after year and there is nothing I can do about it..."
    That surprised me, and I explained to him that I didn't see it as getting worse just re- adjusting how I do things.
     
    "In other News"
    Tessa had her evaluation to see if she qualified to see a psychologist yesterday.
    I wasn't allowed in the room but from what little Tessa told me it went well and in a few weeks we will find out if they wil accept her into the programe.
    I would explain more but Tessa asked that I not write any more then that about it, and I will respect her wishes.
     
    Well at least if I get house bound I do have one thing that will make it nicer.....I just found out "RickRadio 24/7" is up and running again after almost 6 months of not working.....*giggle giggle*.......I'm so easily pleased!...LOL!
    Another good thing is that I have almost all my Christmas shopping done and it's not even December yet.....YAY me!
    I hope everyone is doing well.
    Be good to eachother!
    (((Hugs)))
     
    10:04 | 添加评论 | 阅读评论 (5) | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    11月26日

    ~551~ PFFFFT!

     
     
     
     
    2
     
    yes we have the EVIL white stuff on the ground
    23:25 | 添加评论 | 阅读评论 (4) | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    11月24日

    ~550~

    People
    come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
    When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
    When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually
    to meet a need you have expressed.
    They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide
    you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may
    seem like a godsend and they are.
    They are there for the reason you need them to be.
    Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
    this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

    Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
    Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
    What we must realize is that our
    need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done.
    The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.




    Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because
    your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
    They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

    They may teach you something you have never done.
    They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
    Be lieve it, it is real. But only for a season.




    LIFETIME
    relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things
    you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
    Your job is to accept the lesson,
    love the person and put what you have
    learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
    It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.



    Thank
    you for being a part of my life, whether you
    were a reason, a season or a lifetime.


    9:34 | 添加评论 | 阅读评论 (5) | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    11月22日

    ~549~ Still here

    I'm still here, I just haven't had a lot to say or computer time.
    I would like to say HAPPY THANKSGIVING to all my American friends, I hope you all have a warm, fun and good food filled day!
    I am hoping to have some time to come around to visit as well as do a good up date in the next couple of days.....
    I'm just trying to get as much done as I can before the snow (evil white stuff!) comes......The weatherman isn't saying we are going to get the evil stuff but he LIES! It's coming I can FEEL it.
    Be good to each other and have a GREAT day.
    See you soon!
    7:14 | 添加评论 | 阅读评论 (2) | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    11月18日

    548~ It's Sunday

    And  I woke up thinking "Oh good, I can relax all day."
    That was until I walked into my kitchen.......
    I really don't remember going to bed with it that messy, maybe I was just in denile.....LOL!
    So I've cleaned it and now I'm drinking my first cup of coffee.
    Tessa is on the couch watching one of the many remakes of "The Parent Trap."
    (She's going fine by the way.)
    I'm going to let her watch that then we are going to try and straighten out the storage room.....So much for my relaxing day eh?
    It has been a busy week with the kids and all. I even started Christmas Shopping *Shudder*
    Don't get me wrong I love Christmas I just hate the growds.
    Anyway I hope everyone is doing alright.
    Have a GREAT week all!
     
    12:58 | 添加评论 | 阅读评论 (4) | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    11月15日

    Tessa update

    She didn't make it through her whole shift at work, but she did offer to do one more shift tomorrow. (I don't think she will though.)
    When she came home she told me more of what happened.......*sigh* This is really going to do a number on her but I will do my best to be there for her and get her the help she will need.
    What I knew earlier was bad enough......What Tessa told me later is horrifying!
    I won't go into detail but Tessa saw something no 15 year old should see...She saw a classmate of hers hurt and broken, convolseing in pain, then she watched him take  his last breath....She was kneeling beside him at the time (a long with a few others) making sure no one moved him before help came.
    She said "Mum I NEVER want to see something like that again."
    I hope to God she never doesn't.
    I don't know much about the kid who hit him other then he liked to show off while he was driving and he liked to try and scare people by driving straight for them and stopping at the last moment.... It makes me SO angery!
    I have to go and hug my child.....
    0:25 | 添加评论 | 阅读评论 (6) | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    11月14日

    547~ Life

      Goes on for me as always.......
     
    • Last week I got a late night phone call from the Mother of the Brothers I look after, she was beside herself because the older one was WAY out of control. he was not listening, throwing things at her, telling her he didn't have to respect her because he was the boss and if she didn't do what he wanted he was going to call the Children's help-line or 911. Just really doing anything he could to make her angry or cry. Now I know a lot of people will say that all this is a cry for attention.....I don't discount that. BUT I know this kid and the situation and only a small part of it is an attention grabber. The other bigger part is the Mother (and she admits this ), has let him get away with this kind of behaviour for so long that he honestly thinks he is the boss of the house. She phoned to tell me that the boys, (the younger one was following big bro's lead.) were grounded and that they had to write lines and such, as she was on the phone with me the older boy started throwing things at her again, this time aiming for her head and then he walked up to her and tried to hit her with his fist! I heard that and told her to pack him a bag with enough stuff for at least two days I was coming to get him and he was going to stay with me, but she wasn't to tell him it was only for two days. I got there and the boy was in tears begging for one more chance, he didn't want to come to my house because , (he actually said this.) "She won't let me  be the boss!" The Mother and I just looked at him and I said, "That's the point, you have to learn that you aren't the boss, not at my house or here at home." I got him back to my place and just put him to bed there was no point in trying to talk to him right then, we had a good talk in the morning before school and again after. He thought he could go home after that but he stayed with me for full two days. Things seem to be going a little easier.

     

    • My friend April is doing better, there are only two more chemo treatments then then the radiation starts........The JOY of it all!

     

    • The day before yesterday my Mother and I had a bit of a tiff because I wouldn't go to the ER to have my foot casted, yes it's more then the "Marcher's Break", it is actually broken this time. I stepped the wrong way and heard it crack and and it turned all sorts of colours, my Mother saw it and said "Right let's go." I wouldn't have it, I didn't want to wait for hours in the ER for a cast when wrapping it and keeping it up would be just as good, my Mum and I argued for a bit, I won out in the end with a promise that if it didn't feel better in a couple of days I would go in......It doesn't feel great but I can deal with it.....I REALLY don't want a cast.

     

    • We also found out last week that Tessa is VERY anemic, for right now I have to force feed her iron pills (she hates taking pills of any kind.) then a few more tests will be done.....Hopefully it will help and if not the Doc is setting up an appointment with a psychologist.

    It seems that November has started out quite horrible for a lot of my friends, I just want all of you to know that my thoughts and heart are with you all, I wwish there was more that I could do.....

    *BREAKING NEWS*

    I've just spent the last half hour or so talking with Tessa's counsellor, the police and Tessa's boss.....Tessa ISN'T in trouble just so you know. 

    Tessa  phoned told me, on her way to the bus stop to go to work she wittnessed  someone get hit and killed by a car, Tessa gave a statement, talked with her school counsellor and went on her way to work. All of us (me , the counsellor, and the policemen.) tried talking her in to just coming home but she said she was fine and that she WANTED to go to work, it's her last day there and she didn't want to miss it. (I will exsplain another day why it's her last day.)

    I talked to her boss and let her know what happened and asked her to call me if she notices Tessa actting strangely because I believe Tessa might be in shock, if and when that wears off I didn't want Tessa to come home on her own, I want to be the one to come and get her....As it stands I am getting the boys Mother to find someone to come and get them so I can leave at moments notice.

    Oh I am just heart sick for the boys parents, and I HATE that my girl saw that.

    WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST SLOW DOWN?!?

     

     

    16:12 | 添加评论 | 阅读评论 (3) | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    11月8日

    546~Hi

     
    It's been a few days since I posted, but I have been around checking on my friends to see how you all are doing and I can see life is as always throughing monkey wrenches around and for some of us just plain kicking our butts.....
    Life has thrown a monkey wrench or two my way but all in all nothing I can't handle.
    Last Saturday my friend April calls me and says "So are we going to the concert tonight?"
    I sat there and just looked at the phone for about 5 minutes.....Then I said "OK your meds are messing you up more then mine are me...."
    And then I said " In the first place we already talked about this, WE DON'T have a ride! I haven't leaned to drive in the last couple of days so, unless you've decided that you are going to drive I would say NO WE ARE NOT going."
    Now I have to say that IF she had chosen to drive we would have needed a MINAMUM 4 hrs to get there, just in case we got lost, couldn't find parking that sort of thing. the concert started at 8 pm she phoned me at 4:30...SHEESH! And Oh yeah WE DIDN'T H AVE TICKETS! Again I say SHEESH!
    She says "Oh I thought Rick (the ex) was going to drive."
    Me~ "Umm, No he had to work and couldn't get out of it, I told you that already."
     
    For the next part of this little rant, let me preface it by saying that I LOVE my friend and I'm heartbroken that she has to go through this and if I could take on the chemo sickness on for her I would without a second thought.....
    BUT.
    I just don't know how to deal with her anymore.
    During that same phone call Saturday I said " I know hubby is out of town and if you want to come over that is more then alright with me but PLEASE call first, because if you are coming over I won't take my second pill, once I take the second pill I'm off to LALA land and not fit company for anyone."
    She said "We'll see, I'm really not feeling well but I'll talk to you later."
    And we ended our call.
    I went about my day watched the kids, housework all my normal everyday boring stuff. the kids got picked up and I waited until 7: 30- 8 o'clock and still no phone call so I took my second pill, then just as I'm getting ready to go have a quick soak and get into bed before the pills really kick in and I start see pink elephants with purple polka-dots, she walks in the door.....All I can think is, "SHIT! I'm well on my way to being a zombie and i can see by the look on her face that she is feeling really sick and it's going to be a LONG night.
    Well I was right.....
    She came in plunked herself on my couch and proceeded to shoot down every offer of help or suggestion as to what to do to get her mind off of felling ill, she just sat there like a petulant 5 year old and I sat there (starting to see spots, yeah those new pain meds really messed me up, I've since stopped taking them.)
    I asked her if she was taking the anti- nausea drugs, says no she isn't.
    I say, "why not don't they work?"
    She says, Yeah but they are too expensive."
    I say, "Umm, if you go to the Cancer Agency they give them to you for free." (If you go through regular medical you have to pay for them but if you go to the Agency with a note from your Oncologist they are either very low cost or free, I know this because that's what my sister did.)
    She says to me, "Oh you just don't understand!"
    I say, "No I don't understand going through chemo, but I do understand doing what you have to do to get better, your not going to feel better if you just sit there and pout, the last time you felt like this you ended up in the hospital. Do you want to end up there again?"
    She says to me rather snidley, "Don't worry you won't have to take to the hospital."
    At this point I've had it, I've done all that I can do for the moment and apparently it's not good enough, plus by this time my meds have really kicked in and I HAVE to go lay down.
    I tell her this and she leaves in a huff.....
    You know, it's almost like she's mad at me for not being sick, while I understand this...to a point I also think it's unfair. For one thing it's not my fault and for two I have NEVER once gotten mad at her or anyone else because I can't walk right and they can, I may get cranky from the pain but, I don't blame anyone else but myself for it after all I'M the stubborn bint who over does it aren't I?...LOL!
    What she needs to see is that the treatments will come to an end and she will feel better.
    That's it for now.
    Take care all!
     
    11:13 | 添加评论 | 阅读评论 (5) | 固定链接 | 写入日志
    11月4日

    545~ Meds...

    Are not doing what they need to do.
    They were supposed to help with the pain so I could do what I need to do, they do help with the pain but I'm whacked out all the time......It's not a nice feeling.
    I'm either up at all hours cleaning out closets or I'm sleeping, I'm no good to anyone like this so I'm going to talk to my Doctor about pain blockers.
    If they work maybe I can look for a part time job outside of the home while the kids are in school, it sure would be nice to be out in the world again, feeling useful and meeting new people.
    I'm just way too young to feel this danm old and sitting in my rocking chair crochetting (Yes I am really crochetting a blanket).
    Well....
    That's enough of my bitching.
    How is everyone?
    Did you all have a nice weekend?
    6:24 | 添加评论 | 阅读评论 (5) | 固定链接 | 写入日志