Cindy 的个人资料Cindy's space照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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4月29日 So OKThat was a was a short break down....
I'm not getting rid of the Internet, my brother talked me into keeping it. Tessa needs it for school and it's just to much of a pain in the butt for her to go to my Mother's every time she needs it, reports don't always coincide with cadet nights.
I will be taking a bit of a break from blogging, there is just so much going on, not just the marriage proposal (which I said no to BTW) that I need to get my head around and when I do I will be back, I have to be back at least by the end of next month so I can show you the guys the pics of Tessa in her Ball gown...
See you all soon!
Love&Hugs
Cindy 4月26日 Bye For Now......I knew it was coming, held it off as long as I could because as sad as it is I NEED to have the internet but, for now it has to be one of the things I cut back on.
I will miss you guys so much!
If you wish you can e-mail me I will be able to see those and visit you all from time to time, maybe I should have waited until the summer to put the ad in the paper I might have gotten more answers then......~sigh~ I feel like such a failure!
Anyway .......
Know that I'm thinking of you and missing you!
I will work on getting back on -line .......I just don't know how long it will take.
Be well everyone, I'll see you when I'm able.
Love Cindy
4月25日 Sorry.I have tried everything I can think of to change the song on my space and I can't I can't even delete the media player....I don't know what to do..... 4月24日 I tried....To wrap my mind around what happened Saturday, and I can't so here is a little back ground for your entertainment....
Saturday evening I get a phone call from the EX, (aka Rick) asking me to hop in a cab and come to his place.....He sounded a little funny , yes he had been drinking I knew that by the simple fact he said get a cab.......He won't drive even if he's only had half a beer but, that's not the "sounded funny" I mean.
The way he sounded I thought something had happened to his Mother or something, So yeah I called a cab.......
~side note~
It took 5 calls to the cab company because THREE different drivers couldn't find my house!
MAN!
Was I getting pissed, it's not hard to find, finally one got here and I told him that if he he tried to pull " I can't find it " thing to pad the meter there was going to be hell! I told the cabbie where to go and how much it was going to cost INCLUDING the tip, so he better not mess around because he wasn't going to get any more then I stated, I have taken this ride a time or two and I KNOW how much it should cost, and it didn't matter that I wasn't actually paying for it ( Rick was and he works hard for his money.)
Yeah you don't MESS with me when I'm worried about someone.
~end of side note~
Anyway.....
I get to his house and what do I see?
He has a fire going, dinner being kept warm, AND a hot bath waiting for me.......
My first reaction was: "What did you do?"
Him: "Nothing"
He hands me a drink, and I ask:
"What do you want?"
Him: "Nothing! Can't I just do something nice?
Me: "Ummmmm........." (insert sound of crickets chirping) "What's for dinner?"
Him: " Well I want to ask you something....."
Then he starts too putter around getting dinner and drinks and generally avoiding the question for quite some time, then he just blurts it out!
"Do you want to get married?"
The sound of the silverware hitting table was deafening in the silence that followed.....Boy! Am I glad he waited until I swallowed, that could have been NASTY! Because dinner was a very tasty homemade pea soup (yes the man can cook!)
I sat there and all I could think was; "I'm sitting here in my big ole Rick Springfield t-shirt (that I panned on sleeping in.) ratty jeans, no make-up hair in a messy pony tail that does nothing to hide the grey....and I'm pretty sure I had soup on my chin.....AND HE POPS THE QUETION!?"
I must have looked as stunned as I felt because all he said was:" Go add some hot water to the tub, I'm sure it's cooled down by and have a soak, we'll talk when you get out."
OK! I don't have to be told twice on that one, I LOVE his bathtub, it's a nice deep soaker tub,(actually I love his whole house but I won't get into that right now.) I mean I can swim in that sucker! So off I went to have a nice long soak, hoping that if I stayed in there long enough he'd fall asleep........He didn't. And no he didn't try to join me in the tub this time......He learned his lesson from the last time he tried that...LOL!
Anyway......
I stayed in the tub for about 2 hours, when I got out I just said to him, "There are alot of things we need to talk about , but I'm not ready to yet. Why don't we give it a few days and talk about it then?"
He said, "Alright, I can do that."
So there you have it......The reason I've been stunned for the last few days.
No I won't tell you my answer ( even tho I know what it will be.) because I haven't told him the answer yet.
~P.S.~
I know I've left out other information .....Like yes we have been seeing a lot of eachother in the last little while but I tell ya I did NOT expect those words to come out of his mouth! 4月23日 The things we do...I had a interesting night Saturday night it has sort of left me shell shocked .....and looking like a dear caught in head lights for the last 24 hours, it's nothing bad, and in some ways it could be a really good thing, I just don't know how I feel about it and when I do I will tell you what it is......As it stands I've only told one person and it wasn't my best friend or my Mother and considering what it is you'd think they would be the ones I would tell.....
But nope.
I told a blog friend, isn't funny how on here and IM some times we just feel more comfortable telling relative strangers things that we have hard time telling our real life friends and family about.
Well I guess the "strangers" label isn't fair.........Because I say things on here I would never tell my friends and family, so in some ways you (my blog buddies) know me better then they do.
Anyway....
I want to say thank you to everyone for their kind comments and well wishes, the pain has subsided some what and I'm feeling much better.
I have done a bit of a silent visit to my friends, just to catch up, but I will go around again after I've gotten a good nights sleep.
Wich I think I can now. Thank God!
I hope everyone has a wonderful week!
~Hugs~
Cindy 4月20日 It's a New Day.....Not much going on today....
Just getting some laundry done and filling out papers then going for a long walk to drop off said papers.
The walk to the new school isn't much for Tessa but for me these days it's a good half hour to 45 minutes so after I've had my coffee I will set off on the walk.
I have figured out why this bout of pain has been so bad.....
I apologise right now to the few men that read this, but it has to do with woman things.
About 2 years ago I had a procedure done that in affect stopped my monthly cycle.
BUT....
It didn't stop the symptoms, well yes some of them aren't as bad as they used to be but, still other are worse (IE) like at this time the bloating and water retention.
It is a relief to know that it will come to an end in a couple of days but I wish my body would stop throwing these new things at me!
GOD!
I hate getting older!!
Have a GREAT weekend all
(((Hugs)))
Cindy 4月18日 My brain went....POP! Fizzle.....PFFFT! And I turned into a screaming banshee.....(Honestly I think I channelled my sister for a few moments there.)
Over what?
Missing papers....... They WERE in my desk last week I know they were I saw them DANM IT!
Papers that we needed to have today, to take to the school Tessa wants to transfer to.
Now I'm sitting here in the midst of a cyclone, my kid is not talking to me, and she has to miss 2 classes tomorrow because we HAVE to do this paper work BEFORE Friday.
Lucky thing I went for a walk to cool down and I saw that the Co-Op office person was actually in the office for once and I was able to get copies....THANK GOD!
I really couldn't take another year of the crap from this school, it's a long story that I can't get into right now because I'm just too rung out...I'm shaking because I HURT and there is nothing I can do about it, I'm taking Tessa back to the Doctor's on Saturday and I will talk to him about finding ME another specialist because the one he keeps sending me to Just says I'm not bad enough yet......
Just because I can function through the pain DOESN'T mean I'm not hurting.
I'm going to go a curl up in a ball and cry, then when Tessa gets back home I will apologise for freaking out.
Smart girl that she is, it's still hard for her to understand my mood swings when the pain gets bad.
~LATER~
Tessa has now forgiven me, and swears she didn't throw the papers out but she did go on a paper shedding spree when she cleaned last week and she's not always good about asking what should be shedded or not.
Even though I have told her NOT to do it, she thought she'd help me out ...You know so I'd have one less thing to do, so really I can't be too mad at her and I WAS able to get copies.
I didn't curl up in a ball and cry, I just made the house look less like a cyclone hit it.
~SIGH~ 4月17日 WellThe tragic events of yesterday make me so sad for the parents and loved ones of those that lost their lives because of a broken mind.
My heart goes out to all of that have shared and will continue to share this long night.
Peace to all!
(((Hugs)))
Cindy 4月15日 I feel...Giulty.....
Because I know there are people in a lot more pain then I am, but I HURT and I want it to stop!
I've lived with pain all my life, and for the most part I can deal with it, it's just part of my life and life must go on right?
Nothing is helping even what I got from the Doc today, just wacked me out and made me mean but didn't get rid of the pain.
At this point an induced coma sounds good. 4月14日 So Like I said.....I Thank all that is holy in any realm that I have the kid I have....
She may drive me BATTY with not doing her chores unless I yell, (yes she's still doing that, it just not as bad as it was.)
But at least I ALWAYS know where and what she is doing.
Yes she is a teenage girl so at least a couple of times a month her head separates from her body and does a 180 while spewing pea soup, but all in all she is a good stubborn as a bull kid.
And do you know why?
I'll tell you why.....
I refused to take the easy way, I stood my ground, learned to pick my battles and above all I am fair.....
This little rant was brought on by not only my dealings with the new child and his Mother, (wich I won't get into right now because it is a LONG story) but with another parent as well.
I talked about this parent before she is the one that thinks I'm not a good Mother because Tessa doesn't have a Father figure.
Anyway....
I guess she must be jealous or something because she just won't let it go!
I haven't talked to her in awhile because quite honestly she PISSES me off!
But her daughter and Tessa are really good friends so I haven't cut ties completely.
Well that has changed!
Last night Tessa spent the night at her house.....And this woman starts in on Tessa about it, saying things like:
Tessa should start bugging me about finding a man to take care of me and her because "Although she is doing the best she can, your life (meaning Tessa's) would be so much better......"
WTF!
Yes I lost it all over this twit and I let her know in no uncertain terms that what she said was so inappropriate and over the line that Tessa was no longer allowed at her house EVER again.
Some peoples ignorance just astounds me! 4月13日 All I have to say isTHANK GOD!
FOR THE KID I HAVE.
AND WHILE I'M AT IT I WILL PAT MYSELF ON THE BACK TOO.
4月12日 Back into the fray.....I think.
Not too sure I just had the kid for a hour yesterday, I will know more after the weekend.
I had decided that it would be best if I did a trial period before I committed to looking after a kid full time, although I must admit that it is rarely the kids I end up having a problem with.
This kid should be interesting, he is in grade 5 but he is doing grade 3 work, he also has a VERY short attention span along with the Mother saying there are "some issues' I do believe if I take this child on I will be dealing with the (very useless) behavioral teacher at the elementary.....HEHEHE!
He is scared of me!.....Actually I will have fun with it, you see this guy has NO clue how to do his job and I make no secrete of my disdain of him and his lack of knowledge.
I think he threw a party at the beginning of the school year when he realised I didn't have a kid at the school under my care....I almost made him quit last year.
Hmmm I wonder if I can do it this time, Or just make him cry again.....
Yes I know I'm a meanie but COME ON PEOPLE!
Your not helping the kid learn anything by sitting them at a desk in the corner feeding them hot chocolate and gummy bears.
Yes this is what this guy does no matter what the problem is. Yeah our tax dollars at work.....
4月11日 My DadToday would have been my Dad's 66th Birthday.......
My father was a good example of how different people can see the same person, but a different face.
In his life he had 9 woman that he dealt with:
1 Mother
2 sisters
1 ex wife (mother of 2 children)
1 ex girlfriend (mother of 1 child-me)
1 Wife (now widow)
I know there were other girlfriends, but these are the ones I can speak about, yeah my Dad was a player and more then likely the reason I think monogamy is a joke, no disrespect intended my father would freely admit his player status.
To his mother he was the first born, the good son, a handfull in his teenage years, but still the one that could do no wrong.
To his sisters, the big brother, the one to be tested, defied, respected and relied upon.
The ex wife, I never heard her say a bad word about him and they did remain friends, but she did leave him for a woman, went to the hospital to have their second child, and never came home (to him anyway.)
The ex girlfriend, again my mother never said anything against him but the stories of her "Woman Scorned" act are epic, the worst being: On the day he was to marry my step-mother, she (my mother) called the police and told them that my father was holding a church full of people hostage.
This story was told to me by my step-mother so I don't know how true it really is, but then again my mother IS a real piece of work......
And she does admit to taking a butcher knife to all his clothes and throwing them on the front lawn......or was that her first husband? I'll have to ask her and let you know later
To his oldest daughter he was the Daddy that left and she never forgave him, no matter what he did to try and make up for it.
To the second child he was just the sperm donor, the father that was dead long before he really was.
The wife (widow) to her he was husband, bread winner, dreamer pain in the ass cheater she would never leave. She also never said anything bad about him, that is until after he died anyway.
Then there is me, The Baby, to me he was Daddy the one who was always there for me no matter what. He was my protector, my sounding board, and once in a while my punching bag (metaphorically speaking that is). He is/was the only person that ever said he was proud of me, most of all he was my friend.
Not to say that we didn't have our problems, we did thankfully work them out and had a good 10 years to get to know each other.
In 5 days it will be 9 years and I miss him everyday. 4月10日 Cleo Kitty....Is OK, no more cat nip for her.....She got a little too much and had a bad reaction.
Poor kitty she had a wicked trip.......
Mystified: I'm sorry I've tried to leave a comment a couple of times but I couldn't I just wanted to say Thanks for stopping by. It's always somethingWell late last evening my poor kitty Cleo, started coughing and sneezing for a couple of hours there it was really scary because it sounded and looked like she was choking and I couldn't get her to the vet.....So Tessa and I spent a long night watching the cat.....She (the cat) seems a little better this morning, she's still sneezing but she's not coughing and looking like she is choking anymore. To my great relief she even ate this morning.
I'm still going to try and get her into the vet, but I believe she will be OK.
Things like this remind me of just how old she could be.....You see we don't know for sure how old she is because she is a "Cattery" rescue, the poor girl has been through a lot .
It has taken a long time to get her socialized and not so afraid of people.....I'm still her favorite human, most of the time when I'm at the computer she is in my lap swatting at my hands as I type or walking on the keyboard, it can be irritating but mostly I find it cute.
When the day comes that she will no longer be with us will be a dark heartbreaking day that is for sure....
I try and not think too much about that.
Bye Bye for now!
I'm going to try and get a bit of sleep before we go to the vet...
(((Hugs)))
Cindy 4月9日 My Weekend.....Was quite nice, I had more company than I've had in a long time.........MAN! I've become anti-socal in my old aga because after about an hour with each visitor I was done and wanted them to leave it's not that I don't care for these people.
I just like being on my own....Oh well such is life.
I got a few things done, one of those friends brought me the materials that I needed to fix my bed and I did just that. I fixed my bed and I am proud of myself!
I can't tell you how nice it is to wake up and NOT be so sore that it takes 10 minutes to move.
We Went to my Mother's for dinner last night, it was good both my friend (who's hubby was away this weekend) went home with so many ledt overs that we don't have to shop for a week....LOL!
We had Tessa singing Neil Diamond, David Bowie, and Niel Young...It was so cute!
My Mother is looking into finding Tessa a voice coach.
Well that's it for now....
Bye Bye!
(((Hugs)))
Cindy
~P.S~
It was also really fun to watch my Mother teaching Tessa to Jive to this song....(Click on the video to hear it.)
I've even sucked my Mother in She said that if he comes back here she wants to go to the show...HEHEHE! So Now That's 3 generations..I love it! <GRIN>
Although I shouldn't be surprised she DID go with me to see David Bowie/Duran Duran in 87 and had a better time then I did...LOL! Bowie was great Duran Duran not so much...
One of the greatsQueen/David Bowie Under Pressure |
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