Waiting for the boys to arrive, I sit here blog walking, working out bill payments,(resisting the urge to CRY) I’m listening to RICKRADIO, trying to strengthen my fragile grip on my “5 good things” list:

1.      My daughter (even when she dumps her PMS all over me.)

2.    Real cream for my coffee.

3.    Getting out of bed took only 5 minutes instead of 15 this morning.

4.    Being able to pay my bills. (Still want to cry though.)

5.    My bed.

Yup, all good things but today all I can think is, I miss my Dad….It’s been a little over 10 years since he passed, and there are still days, (like today) I wake up thinking of him. And miss being able to just pick the phone and have a chat with him, about everything and nothing….

<sigh>

Well here I am at almost 3 am; waiting for the pain meds to kick in…I wish this would heal faster!

The Robaxacet is very helpful, I must say.

I did end up getting a ride yesterday which I’m very thankful for because even with the ride the outing took so much out of me…I don’t even want to think about how I would feel if I had taken the bus….Mind you I probably wouldn’t have been so worn out if I hadn’t walked up to the grocery store at 7 am. I needed stuff OK? And Tessa had already left for work, so like I said before you do what ya gotta do.

We went to the bank, and then we took the older boy I look after to the toy store so he could pick out something as a reward for being so helpful to me since I hurt my self. He really has been amazing, this situation has been really good for him, I have been working with him on “life skills” (both him and his brother have developmental delays, to different degrees) with him for quite a while and he had reached platue of sorts, like he had learned all he wanted too and wasn’t going to learn any more, but lately he has really tried to do things he had never tried before and has tried to figure things out on his own….The only real tragedy is I ended up with a cupboard full of not so clean dishes…LOL!

Anyway. We did that and as we were passing the restaurant “White Spot” he asked what it was and I asked him if he ever had a “Pirate Pak” He said no….WELL, I couldn’t believe this! A child that has grown in BC and has NEVER had a “Pirate Pak”?  Okay this was just 6 different kinds of wrong and had to be fixed, and fixed now! There just some things in childhood that shouldn’t be missed.

I had April drop us off at the restaurant and come back to my place and pick up Tessa and the younger boy, (thank God Tessa had an early day.)

When the others got there we ordered our meals, both boys were tickled pink with their Pirate boats and gold coins….Next time (when we don’t have the dogs) we will go and have our meal  in the car because they still have real Car Hops, I loved them when I was a kid.

So all in all it turned out to be a nice day tiring but nice.

After the boys got picked up I crashed for 4 hours, I was hoping to sleep through the night, as you can see that didn’t happen…Oh well the pain meds are starting to work so I will go and lay down and read for a bit and may catch a little more sleep before the boys get here in the morning. (4 and a half hours from now.)

(((hugs)))

Just to warn you this is going to be a bitch and whine session.

Since I hurt my back I have gotten to know who I can count on, and it turns out that’s not really anyone.

I know people have their own lives and things to do so I avoid asking for too much help and make do, and if there is something I really need to get help with I try give at least 2 days notice…Then at the last minute I am told, “Oh sorry I can’t do it.”

That has happened so many times that I’m wondering, why do people even offer help when they don’t really mean it?

And yes it’s happened yet again, I gave two people (I always try to have a back up.) plenty of notice that I needed a ride today I even put it off as long as I could, to give them said notice….Yup, you guessed it, “Sorry I can’t do it.”

I don’t even know why I even bother asking anymore, I KNOW from when I was stuck in the house (because of the snow.) this sort of thing will happen.

So later today I’m going to take the bus and do what I need to do, I’ll be Okay and if I get too tired I will just catch a cab home. I really don’t want to spend the money but you do what you have to right?

Well there is one person that would give me a ride…But I would have to wait ALL day and quite possibly (more then likely) miss getting to the bank on time.

It just pisses me off, that I’m always there to help (as much as I can) weather it be to watch kids, pick up mail, wait for UPS…Whatever. I never complain, but God help me if I say no!

I get “Why not?” What else do you have to do?”

I don’t dare say anything because if I do, what help I DO happen to get won’t happen at all.

And oh, there is one person just LOVING this because they get to say, “See I told you! She can’t live on own, she needs too much help’.

What. Ever.

This is just making me work harder at getting stronger, so I can get a better job, and move (to an area that snow isn’t an issue) the farther away the better. Play the video It's a HOOT!

So, I told you I was working on a blog telling you about more of the funny and not so funny things that happened on the day I fell down and went BOOM!.....It’s gone….I don’t know where it went (I think Tessa has been playing on here.)

I really don’t feel like retyping it all.

So I’m just going to get on with life from here, Okay?

Rick came home 4 days early yesterday….

He drove 11 hours, stopped dropped his bags, cleaned the car and called me…FINALLY!

His reason for not calling? He didn’t want to spend the money. What. The. F*ck. Ever. What I think it really was,( If the shocked look on his face when saw me was any indication.) He didn’t think it was as bad as it is again I say: What. The. F*ck. Ever.

He brought over some Tiger Balm; it was nice to have him gently rub my back the balm didn’t really help though.

And whatever help the Rye he also brought over, (don’t worry I hadn’t had any pain killers for quite some time before I had the drink.) was undone when his hands started to wonder…. I looked at him and asked; “Are you F*CING KIDDING ME?”

He says, "Hey it was worth a shot."

Then he laughed, I didn't.

After that we just watched T.V. for a bit in silence.

Yes, I know there was so much more I could and should have said….I just don’t have the fight in me right now.

On the good side I have found something other then T3’s to help my pain, Robactisect (sp) well actually the generic brand but it works the same at half the price. A lot of my pain is coming from muscle spasms, and these things are really helping that. THANK GOD!

It had gotten so bad I couldn’t even put on a pair of pants without help and a lot of tears. (My back muscles were so seized up I couldn’t bend.)

Please people be careful; DON’T FALL & FRACTUR A VERTEBREA, it HURTS!

Take care all

Right now it is 8 am and I have been up since 6 am....Yes that means I only got about 3 hours sleep and no I can't go back to bed, 2 of the boys I look after stayed the night last night and should be waking up anytime now plus I should be getting a 3rd one in about a half hour....Good thing they have a birthday party to go to later today, I'll be able to take a nap then. And the dog is going to the sitter's today because Tessa is working 5 days straight, (very long hours).

And Now I must do my fanly, (yes I just made up that word) duty and wish Mr. Rick Springfield A very HAPPY 59th BIRTHDAY!

They really need to bottle whatever it is that man has.....He looks better at 59 then I do at 39.....I think I'm depressed now.

I think I may have found a temporary cure for “The Morphine Loopys”.

It's housework…..I’m not kidding….It’s a little chaotic, and I start one task and another thing will grab my attention half way through, but things are getting done and that makes me feel better. I may regret this burst of domestic energy….For now it’s working for me.

Although I may bane anyone from sitting on my sofas, putting the slip covers on is a cardio workout, I tell ya!

Tuck, smooth, and repeat. Until perfect then the dog walks across it…..

Tessa just called me and told me she has a hairline fracture in her arm….The details I don’t know as of yet, but I will damn sure find out when she gets home! There are a lot of questions I need to ask like;

How did happen?

Why is she still working?

And just how in the HELL she was able to go to a walk in clinic when I have her medical card in MY purse?

There is something going on with this girl. She is attention seeking in the worst way.

I know what it ISN’T ….I just don’t know what it IS….

Before anyone says it. It’s not drugs, I know that for sure…..(I’m not in denial, I have test results to back it up.)

My best guess is that she is acting out because her father hasn’t called her back since the last time they talked over 2 months ago.

The Momma Bear in me wants to call him and rip him a new one, but the rational side of me knows that will just make it worse….

I think it’s time to go back to the therapist.

So I’m off on the morphine trip again…..I don’t like and I try to hold off as long as I can but this last week it’s been hard, I broke down twice now and took one (each time).

But on Monday I am going to make an appointment with a Chiropractor, I actually used to see this guy all the time 12 years ago…..I really don’t know why I stopped going….Honestly there must have been a reason, but I can’t remember what it was…WEIRD!

Anyway I really hope he can help me, I can’t do this morphine thing.

I get all loopy then I start craving sour candies, (I don’t normally eat candy of any kind). It makes me feel like a junkie….I say this because when I worked graveyard shift at the Shell gas station, (in an area of town nick named “Heroin Row”) they would come in at all hours of the night and by bags and bags of the 5 cent candies….OH LORD! The things I saw in the 2 months I worked there.
I also don’t like how mean I get when I take these things for any longer then a day or two.

I really, really, REALLY hope the Chiropractor can help me.

Cross your fingers and toes for me K?

·       Tessa has left for the weekend; I really hope she enjoys herself.

·       She Looked at me this morning and said, “I’m going to be home sick; I don’t like staying so far away….”

·       Aww!

·       I know she’ll be okay and she does have my cell so she can call any time.

·       It’s cooled off a bit here and they are calling for rain, (for one day.) then it will get warm again.

·       I won’t be getting the 2 year old DIVA tomorrow, that’s good because I just don’t feel up to having her.

·       I REALLY NEED to find a chiropractor in my area, (tried everything else…Can’t hurt right?)

LATE BREAKING NEWS:

I just received an email from rickmerch.com and they have sent me a 75.00 gift certificate…This is because over a year ago I placed an order and never received it and after emailing back and forth (some taking weeks and months on both sides to respond.) It’s finally taken care of…..

I’m off to shop the site..